• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Well Christian Woman Blog

  • Home
  • About
    • About WCW
    • Contributors
    • Beliefs
      • What We Believe
      • Why Jesus?
      • The Word of God
      • We Were Made To Worship
  • Blog
    • All Posts
    • Dr. Kimberly Trites
    • Erin Evans
  • Contact
  • Why Jesus?
  • True Wellness
  • Subscribe
  • Share Your Story
You are here: Home / Suffering / True Wellness: Brittany, Mother

True Wellness: Brittany, Mother

July 27, 2018 by True Wellness Project 5 Comments

True Wellness: Brittany, Mother

When I think about wellness, I am astounded to think that I might have anything to say on the subject. When my husband Jon passed away suddenly, I never thought I would ever be “well” again. I was staring down a black hole… lonely, depressed, and terrified, with no idea how I would survive it. Or even if I wanted to.

I spend the first several weeks after Jon’s death ignoring God. I can’t say I was angry at Him, it was more a hard-headed refusal to acknowledge His existence. But even then I knew that if I wanted to survive this, I had to rely on Him. And I had a little girl who needed me, so giving up was not an option. I wouldn’t let her lose two parents.

At first my prayers were simply “Dear Lord,” and then, nothing. Completely unable to find more words, I was just trying to open the conversation. But that’s all He needed. Eventually I found myself tearfully praying for God to take control of my life, because I couldn’t do it anymore. I was at the end of my rope and had no choice but to let go. I was laid bare in every way, and giving up all the control I once held so tight.

In those moments of desperate, incoherent prayer, one verse stood out to me more than anything else.

“Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10

In that stillness I could let it all go. Be real and honest and vulnerable and weak. I was refreshed, and found the strength to move into the next day. And then the next.

As I was allowing myself to be laid bare with God, I was simultaneously letting go of control in my relationships. For years I had been known primarily as “Jon’s wife”. He was larger than life and I was comfortable resting in the safety of his shadow. When I became “Jon’s widow”, suddenly all eyes were on me. I felt exposed and without him I had nowhere to run or hide.

The trauma left me completely incapable of keeping up the walls I had so carefully constructed around myself. Instead, for the first time in my adult life, I began to let people in. Friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers suddenly all saw me as I truly was. They saw my pain, my fear, and sometimes even my hope that maybe someday things might feel ok again.

Being seen meant being honest, both with others and with myself. No more did I analyze and overthink everything I said to ensure it fit with the image I wanted to craft of myself. Now, I simply spoke. I found that I had something real to say, not a contrived version of what I thought people wanted to hear from me. And perhaps more importantly, others now felt comfortable to share their hearts as well.

I have many moments where I forget all this, where I feel myself worrying about trivialities. I wince when I see the walls that are being rebuilt around my heart, and it takes work to knock them down again. But those words always come back: “Be still.”

Be still, and know that God is there, He is listening, and He is working. He is empowering a community of beautifully broken people to love me and carry me when I feel I cannot go on. And in my pain, He is creating someone capable of deep compassion. Someone who can help carry others who have been shattered as well.

There is still a long way to go in my journey with grief. So much healing that needs to happen, and so much baggage that I will probably carry with me forever. But when I am still, I am well.

Find more True Wellness stories HERE

Share
Tweet
Pin

Filed Under: Suffering, True Wellness Project, TWP Homepage Tagged With: be still & know, brittany, mother, Psalm 46:10, true wellness, true wellness project, twp

We have a variety of contributors and perspectives at Well Christian Woman. Theology and views expressed by our authors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of everyone at Well Christian Woman.

If you would like to know more about how to share what true wellness means to you in light of your relationship with Jesus, please click here for more information.

Our mission is to discover together what it means to be truly well.
If you want to take part in that mission, please subscribe and share!


Subscribe for Updates


Well Christian Woman is an affiliate ministry partner of Deep Water Church in Halifax NS


Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Susana says

    July 31, 2018 at 4:21 am

    Thank you Brittany

    Reply
  2. David Morehouse says

    July 29, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    Thanks for sharing Brittany,

    Reply
  3. Alisha says

    July 29, 2018 at 6:25 pm

    You are so strong Brittany!!! Many blessings❤️❤️❤️🌸

    Reply
  4. Michele Breen says

    July 27, 2018 at 10:11 pm

    Such encouragement
    Thx
    💛

    Reply
    • Virginia Nisbet says

      July 29, 2018 at 11:35 pm

      Oh Brittany, how beautiful! Sweet girl, how dear you are. My heart and prayers have gone out to you and your girlie over the months. I am so very happy to read of how far Father God has brought you and will continue to bring you. You are so precious.

      God bless, xo

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Why We Started Well Christian Woman

why we started well christian woman

Kimberly's Posts
We know you have a story that will encourage and inspire both us and our readers. Click the button below to find out about sharing it!

Share?

Erin Evans (Lead Writer & Social Media Lead)

Erin is an invaluable leader here at Well Christian Woman. She's an … more about Erin HERE about Erin Evans (Lead Writer & Social Media Lead)

UPDATES

Subscribe Below to get WCW updates. Over the next few weeks I will also send you the passages God has used to offer me His peace, hope, and strength.

100% Privacy. We don't spam.

Start a New Year With an Old Book

Even if we don’t make formal … [Read More...] about Start a New Year With an Old Book

The Gift That’s Perfect (Whether Life Is or Not)

It was Boxing Day when my … [Read More...] about The Gift That’s Perfect (Whether Life Is or Not)

Seeing a Homemade Christmas With New Eyes

It’s my husband’s birthday … [Read More...] about Seeing a Homemade Christmas With New Eyes

Draw Near Devotional by Andrea Ewer

Draw Near Devotional

Get a free copy by signing in to our newsletter … more HERE about Draw Near Devotional

Before Footer

 

Our prayer is that you draw closer to Jesus today
and help someone else do the same.

Affiliate Ministry Partner of DEEP WATER CHURCH

Footer

Connect & Share

We'd love to connect with you as we grow and learn more about what it means to draw closer to Jesus together.

Your comments, social media shares and feedback make a huge difference as we reach out to others and we really appreciate it!

well christian woman facebook well christian woman twitter
UPDATES

Subscribe Below to get WCW updates. Over the next few weeks I will also send you the passages God has used to offer me His peace, hope, and strength.

100% Privacy. We don't spam.
Well Christian Woman
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog Posts
  • What We Believe
  • Feedback
  • Contact
  • Why Jesus?
  • True Wellness

Copyright © 2025 — Well Christian Woman • All rights reserved. • Privacy Policy • Disclaimer

; Log in