There are moments in your life that define who you are and set you on a path you did not expect to walk. It could be the birth of a child, your wedding day, a near death experience, or the loss of a loved one. For me, it was the loss of my mother.
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was twenty-four. I was newly married and expecting my first child. I lost my mother at the age of twenty-six. She was my best friend – the one I looked up to and the person I went to for all my questions and concerns. She was a woman of strong faith in Jesus and was not afraid to let all those around her know that Jesus loved them too.
When I was thirteen, my mom started going to church. Eventually, my father and two brothers followed. Our household changed dramatically from where we were to where we were headed, which was a life of knowing God.
After the loss of my mom, I started to have unsettling questions. The one question that preoccupied my thoughts was, why did God have to take my mom? I felt completely lost and disoriented. A few months later I found out that I was expecting our second child. I did not want anything negative to happen to the baby, so I knew I had to try and stay upbeat and positive.
I gave birth to my beautiful and healthy boy. He reminded me so much of my mom in his spirit and disposition. The instant I held him in my arms I knew he was going to be a man of God. I knew he was going to live his life for God and lead many people to Jesus. He is currently serving the church as a pastor. However, even with this knowledge deep in my heart, there was a huge void.
I wandered away from the Lord for a long time trying to fill this void with whatever I could find. This did not bode well in my marriage and my relationship with my kids. But throughout all this searching I found that the one who loves me the most was the one I was running away from – God. It took a while for me to realize this. We can be quite stupid, rejecting the solution that has been staring us in the face our entire lives. I thank God for never giving up on me and my family.
I returned to the church when I was thirty-seven – eleven years after the passing of my mother. It may have taken a while for me to stop wandering away from God, but we can all get there knowing that it is God’s love that draws us to Him. Romans 2:4 says that it is “God’s kindness” that brings us to repentance.
Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? – Romans 2:4 (NIV)
It is God who gives me strength and brings ultimate joy in my life, and enables me to have the right attitude in my loving marriage. I am incredibly blessed to have a husband who loves me unconditionally, and has been for thirty years this June.
The one thing that I have learned is that God loves us no matter what we have gone through, what we think about ourselves, or what others think about us. The one thing that holds strong and true, despite the ups and downs of life, is God’s love.
Find more True Wellness stories HERE