This past year I graduated university! It was something I’ve been looking forward to and felt ready for, but what I didn’t expect was how hard of a life transition it would be.
I felt the most alone that I’d ever felt, and my anxiety was at an all time high. My life was not looking how I had planned it. I had plans to go to Nepal, travel and work with missionaries there! But God had other plans. My family was planting a church and God started calling me to come home and be a part of it.
It was not an easy decision. There were many times when I doubted whether or not I was hearing from God clearly. It was a total step of faith, and so many days went by where I let my fear and anxiety of the unknown take over.
Looking back now I can see that God was using this experience to press me and prune me. John 15 says that the Lord prunes every branch that bears fruit so that it will bear even more fruit.
Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. – John 15:2 (ESV)
The Lord has been pruning things from my life that I just don’t need to lean on anymore, and even though that process has been uncomfortable, I can feel my foundation strengthening.
There has been a phrase that God has been repeating to me over and over, and that is “keep your eyes on me”. Every time I start to compare my life to other people or get caught up in all my insecurities, He says it again, “keep your eyes on me”.
Through doing this He’s been making me stronger on my own, and for the first time in my life I feel okay with that. I feel content with what he’s doing in me and what he has for me rather than needing to place my value around other people. I feel a deep peace knowing that my God is with me and is for me.
So this is what true wellness has looked like in my life. It hasn’t been super pleasant or comfortable, pruning never is, but it’s keeping my eyes on Jesus and being dependant on Him alone, and that is enough for me.
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Groundswell Church in Truro, NS, Canada is passionate about creating a place where you can explore faith no matter your background. They are growing and will be launching a new location in East Hants, NS in 2020.