Two and a half years ago my world was shaken to its core. My youngest son died unexpectedly while away at camp. Every parent’s worst nightmare became my living one as each phone call came in telling me of his condition and death.
What do you do in that moment? Who do you call out to? What hope do you have to hold on to?
I only had one real choice. I had decided to believe in Jesus when I was 18. In my darkest moment, I was either going to continue to trust in Him or I was going to walk away. I choose trust and I have never regretted it.
The peace that has filled my life from that first day has been supernatural. Peace is something you can’t fake. You can’t force it. It’s either there or it’s not. Peace, for me, has come from knowing that I’m not in control. Someone greater is. Peace has come from knowing that Gabe has eternal life with Jesus. Peace comes from knowing when my time is up here on earth, I will see my son again.
Every now and then God gives me a picture of something, like a gentle touch from Heaven. At the end of a church service recently, we sang the song “King of my heart”. Part of the chorus goes:
You’re never gonna let
Never gonna let me down
As I sang along I thought of how God has never let me down, even when my child died and I saw the most lovely picture. I saw a dandelion in full seed. White and fluffy. Tall and proud. Just daring the wind to blow it. Then a strong breeze came and scattered every single seed leaving an empty stalk. The breeze carried the seeds near and far.
I felt like this was a picture of Gabe’s life. I could keep looking at the empty stalk and long for it to be put back together, or I could watch the seeds dance away and hope that they land on fertile ground and bloom again.
Jesus said in John 12:24:
“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
Jesus knew His death wasn’t the end. Jesus knew that His resurrection would bring about a countless harvest of those who believe in Him and the hope of eternal life.
Gabriels life was short but very sweet. The aroma of the love he left behind still lingers. The seeds of his life have been scattered. Some have started to bloom. Some are waiting to be watered. Some are still being carried by the breeze. Each is a gift. A reminder that God’s love is the ultimate gift and fills us with peace. Even in the darkest hours, in Him we can be well.
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