It was early on a damp, cool spring morning. As I walked along I thought about how the weather fit my mood.
A full calendar of commitments, some of which were last minute additions made the days ahead look rather large. A quick glance at the morning headlines confirmed that nothing on the world stage had changed. A lingering pandemic, a war, and yet more accounts of how the increasing inflation rate was leaving no person unaffected.
The news cycle revealed that these days are like none other witnessed in a lifetime. Who could have imagined just a few short years ago that the world would look the way it does today?
Life felt heavy.
My heart felt heavy.
For many days talking to the Lord in prayer had been difficult.
The weight bearing on my soul-was greater than my capacity to even begin to describe the burdens on my heart.
I continued to shuffle along the pathway feeling restless in my spirit about this odd stalemate between myself and Jesus. A walk of faith is not supported by mere emotions, but in that moment it felt as though it was all I had.
As I crested the hill on my journey I sensed the Lord question me, “Who do you say I am?”
I thought of the account in the Bible where Jesus asks His disciples who the people said He was. They offered up the various speculations they had heard. Some of the people thought He was John the Baptist or Elijah or another prophet.
When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” – Matthew 16:13-14
But, then Jesus turns to His disciples and asks them, “Who do you say I am?”
“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” – Matthew 16:15
These questions Jesus asks are so similar, and yet so very different.
The first was hearsay, the second was personal.
I prayerfully began to profess to Him who I believe He is.
You are the Lord, Creator, King, and Author of life.
You are my Saviour who paid the debt of my sin in full.
You reign over all.
You are faithful and unchanging.
You are the healer who has made me whole.
You are my provider. You give me all I need in Christ.
You are a fortress who guards my heart and mind.
Because of who You are, Lord, I am who You say I am.
I am a child of God and my Father is The Great I Am, powerful and mighty, all knowing and all present… and He loves me in spite of myself.
The clarifying question: Who do you say I am… placed my despair in its proper context. It reminded me of the well-placed confidence I am called to have in the One to whom I pray.
And with that, the communion with God that had seemed so strained came more easily as I cast every burden and care before Him. The heaviness I felt began to dissipate as the weight I bore shifted from my heart and mind into His powerful hands.
A far greater truth prevails over calendars filled with commitments and the unending news cycle. It is God Himself who is certain, steadfast, and eternal. His name Is Jesus. It is this truth that reaffirms in me that He is worthy to be trusted and worthy to be sought, in prayer and petition, in any and all things.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7