Do you ever have moments where a song captures your heart? God often speaks to me through songs, so I tend to listen quite carefully. One morning last week I was rushing to get ready for work and had the online Christian radio station K-LOVE randomly playing in the background. I heard this song by Natalia Grant called More than Anything. I was immediately stopped in my tracks (not good for getting to work on time!)
Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Saviour more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Oh help me want you Jesus more than anything
This was the first time I had heard this song, but the lyrics were so familiar to me from many conversations I had with a close friend. How had I not heard this song til now? I looked it up to see when it was released – November 13, 2015. Again I asked myself, how have I not heard this song til now?
I know this sounds like I’m making a big deal over nothing, but the reason it’s a big deal to me is that I had conversations about this topic with my friend Kimberly. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer in January 2016. Throughout her illness we had many conversations about keeping our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Keeping our eyes on the Healer not the healing. The Giver not the gift.
The last time I saw her we discussed this exact topic. She said to me she was worried about her friend’s and family’s walk with God if our prayers for her earthly healing were not answered the way we were asking and believing for. She told me she was worried about my faith. I was taken aback, but responded to her emphatically that my faith would be ok. My faith would stand firm, knowing that God is good, trustworthy and faithful.
I wish I could say my faith didn’t waiver when she died. As silly as it sounds in the face of terminal, 0%-chance-of-survival cancer, I was shocked when Kimberly died. I was believing so fiercely for my friend in the God who heals that I was left with my feet knocked out from underneath me. I can say that today my faith remains intact, but not without many questions and cries out to God to help me understand.
God continues to show me two verses from the Bible found in Hebrews.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. – Hebrews 12: 1-2 (NIV)
I need to keep my eyes on Jesus and trust Him in the race marked out for me. I need to lean on the other believers that he has surrounded me with. I need to get my perspective right and see that life is more than just what we see here on this earth. I need to throw off the stuff that hinders me. My race is different than yours, but doesn’t this hold true for all of us?
So why hadn’t I heard this song before? I feel like it’s because God sent it to me at just the right time. He knew when I would be ready to hear this song with an open heart, not a heart mired in hurt and grief, but a heart that was trusting God.
Songs are very meaningful to me and I have such strong memories tied to music. God uses music to speak to me, to show Himself and who He is. This is another reminder to me that God is with me. He hears my prayers, and is conversing back in a very audible way.
Kimberly and I would often share songs with each other as a way of encouraging each other. I most definitely would have sent her this song, so today I want to share it with you. I hope it encourages you and I pray we continue to learn together what it means to want Jesus, the Healer, more than the healing.