A New Year

It had been a year or two of endless months of waiting, praying, crying.

And hoping.

Days, weeks, months of sitting in dark spaces, on rocky ledges and hanging on for dear life as the roller coaster we were on dipped and spun at terrifying speeds.

Sometimes life feels like that.

Like when circumstances beyond our control punch us in the face and leave us breathless on the floor.

In the in-between-spaces I heard the gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit whisper “surrender”.

Surrender, yes, all of it.

The messy-sometimes-ugly puzzle pieces that were scattered on the floor. Hand them over to His care.

And somehow…. let go of the control that I didn’t have anyway. So in an act of being obedient to the Spirit’s voice, I lifted arms in the quiet of my house, on my walks and even in the car. The physical act of opening wide my heart was a tangible way I could surrender the hurt, pain and grief. You know grief can come from so many other places than the stab of death (I know all too well about that kind, like when I lost my first husband in a car accident on the day our son was born). It can come from hard places like the loss of a relationship, a job, or health, to name a few.

In the letting go, I was able to receive the peace and comfort of God’s love. It began as a hesitant practice and over time became my posture.

My daily posture. Arms raised high even on days when my heart felt so heavy and low.

In the emptying, a beautiful filling. Unexplainable, but undeniable.

His peaceful Presence became my lifeline to Hope. His hope that declares He is working, and walking with me, and speaking truth over lies, bringing clarity to chaos.

That is who He is, and what He longs to do in me, in you, and all around us. When we ask Him to, He fills us with His power, hope and joy.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him,
so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13

The Psalmist  writes “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart ….”

I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord. – Psalm 27:13-14

I claim this truth from deep within my being.

I stand wearing the belt of truth that Paul mentions in his letter to the Ephesians. When doubts come I speak the truth of His Word out loud, to remind myself again and again. He is faithful. He is holy.

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,
with the breastplate of righteousness in place – Ephesians 6:14

He is gracious and merciful. He is good and kind. He gives me daily what I need – my daily Portion- and He sustains me. He holds me up with His righteous right hand. Yes! He does!

Now as I step into a new year, I walk forward with my hand in His and trust Him to lead me.

Way – Maker.

Promise – Keeper.

Hope – Giver, I stand with Him.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your
God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my
righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10